dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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