I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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