What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
