am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
