ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize