So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
