My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
