i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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