I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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