Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
