If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
