NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
