I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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