look no pants
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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