Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize