i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
