the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
