Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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