Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
