I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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