wat bout pragnant strippers??
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it glows. i had to have it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
