And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
