My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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