I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
