Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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