I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
