It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
