need another drink. this is the easiest way
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
