So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
40s are totally the cure
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
