a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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