We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
