Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
