Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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