i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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