Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Randomize
