Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
