So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
