I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
