Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize