i will never coherently bang her
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
