Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
