What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
