Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize