similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
