Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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