She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
