Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Drunk is not a location!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize