I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
