i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
