And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize