Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
