Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
