If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize