Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
