some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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