fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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