is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
