i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
