Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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