great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
