i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
