Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
