why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
