She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
