oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
