OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
